I'm heading out now, just wanted to post about the success of those tablets before I forgot.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
At long last...
I finally got a good nights sleep for the first time in months. Those tablets worked wonders. I slept for eight straight hours, and not one dream.
I'm heading out now, just wanted to post about the success of those tablets before I forgot.
I'm heading out now, just wanted to post about the success of those tablets before I forgot.
Friday, March 28, 2008
I finally caved
Despite my abhorrence of sticking drugs in my system, I finally decided it was necessary. In the past five days I've gotten a total of I'd say no more than two hours sleep. It's not been fun.
As my classmates have astutely noted, one does not simply "not sleep" for five days straight, it take effort. Well, duh. As YOU all know, I detest sleep, and I have a damn good reason too. But alas, in a rather euphoric state at a party (read, I'd had a few drinks) I let that reason slip. Now I'm fairly certain one of my friends either hates me or is afraid to be around me. Or my paranoia could be just making something of nothing.
But I digress. After five days and little sleep, I picked up a prescription for one weeks worth of sleeping pills. Guaranteed at least three hours dreamless sleep, which will hopefully prove enough. Should this work, I'll get some more. Here's to hoping.
As my classmates have astutely noted, one does not simply "not sleep" for five days straight, it take effort. Well, duh. As YOU all know, I detest sleep, and I have a damn good reason too. But alas, in a rather euphoric state at a party (read, I'd had a few drinks) I let that reason slip. Now I'm fairly certain one of my friends either hates me or is afraid to be around me. Or my paranoia could be just making something of nothing.
But I digress. After five days and little sleep, I picked up a prescription for one weeks worth of sleeping pills. Guaranteed at least three hours dreamless sleep, which will hopefully prove enough. Should this work, I'll get some more. Here's to hoping.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
4 AM
Another late night. Or early morning. Whichever way you want to look at it. I've come to the realisation that I am probably boring a lot of you to tears. What am I saying, a lot. I get maybe one or two unique visitors a day. Yippee for me.
Anyway, for the past four hours I've been drawing on and off. I might stick up a comic or two for anyone who shows up to look at. Don't expect it to be a regular thing though. Oh, and I've started work on a quick 2d RPG. Don't expect anything too fanciful. There's not much plot, as it's related to a story I've written for one of my comic ideas. I've altered it enough so it's got its own appeal, but hey, I was lazy. It'll last maybe an hour or two of playtime and that's it.
Head's buzzing. This always happens to me in silence. Everything around me suddenly becomes a living being destined to piss me off. All the tiny little noises start to bug me until all that's left is an endless raging static. My headphones are missing, and everyone else in the house is asleep, so music is out of the question. I guess I'll listen to what the Noise has to say this time around.
Watch this space. More interesting things to follow. I just felt like I needed to write something. For me, not for you. (If there even is anybody out there).
Anyway, for the past four hours I've been drawing on and off. I might stick up a comic or two for anyone who shows up to look at. Don't expect it to be a regular thing though. Oh, and I've started work on a quick 2d RPG. Don't expect anything too fanciful. There's not much plot, as it's related to a story I've written for one of my comic ideas. I've altered it enough so it's got its own appeal, but hey, I was lazy. It'll last maybe an hour or two of playtime and that's it.
Head's buzzing. This always happens to me in silence. Everything around me suddenly becomes a living being destined to piss me off. All the tiny little noises start to bug me until all that's left is an endless raging static. My headphones are missing, and everyone else in the house is asleep, so music is out of the question. I guess I'll listen to what the Noise has to say this time around.
Watch this space. More interesting things to follow. I just felt like I needed to write something. For me, not for you. (If there even is anybody out there).
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Remember Mudkips
Just came across this website and wanted to make sure I posted about it before I forgot.
I won't describe it in detail, you can read it for yourself (link in the title). Scientology is fucked up. And that's coming from me. Hurting an innocent animal is way to fucking far. Read, learn, get mad.
One thing that makes me laugh though, is how little Scientology knows about Anonymous. They claim this Sean Carasov guy is the 'Osama Bin Laden' of Anonymous. Moronic specks. Anonymous has no leadership, no hierarchy and no real sense of organisation. This is why saying Anonymous bactracked furiously in their video on this site is stupid. Anonymous as a whole wants to commit no illegal acts, has no intention of bombing anyone and only wishes the Cult to acknowledge free speech. If someone calls up then they are not playing along right. Anonymous has a code of ethics for this struggle. Anybody who doesn't listen should not be considered a member of Anonymous.
Same for the media. Get your facts right. Anonymous have been called terrorists and blamed for bomb threats. They don't blow people up for fuck's sake! Up until this war against Scientology they only participated in online jokes for the lulz. Fuck. Get your facts right.
Few Videos you should see:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQKbHBqDwSI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrkchXCzY70
Do a youtube search for Anonymous as well.
I won't describe it in detail, you can read it for yourself (link in the title). Scientology is fucked up. And that's coming from me. Hurting an innocent animal is way to fucking far. Read, learn, get mad.
One thing that makes me laugh though, is how little Scientology knows about Anonymous. They claim this Sean Carasov guy is the 'Osama Bin Laden' of Anonymous. Moronic specks. Anonymous has no leadership, no hierarchy and no real sense of organisation. This is why saying Anonymous bactracked furiously in their video on this site is stupid. Anonymous as a whole wants to commit no illegal acts, has no intention of bombing anyone and only wishes the Cult to acknowledge free speech. If someone calls up then they are not playing along right. Anonymous has a code of ethics for this struggle. Anybody who doesn't listen should not be considered a member of Anonymous.
Same for the media. Get your facts right. Anonymous have been called terrorists and blamed for bomb threats. They don't blow people up for fuck's sake! Up until this war against Scientology they only participated in online jokes for the lulz. Fuck. Get your facts right.
Few Videos you should see:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQKbHBqDwSI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrkchXCzY70
Do a youtube search for Anonymous as well.
Stereotypically...what?
As I said in a previous post, I am quite tolerant of fashion. Goth, Emo, Punk, Indie, whatever. SO long as a person is actually happy with what they do, I see no problem. It's when they take part to be 'cool' or to just try and be like their friends that I get pissed off.
But what REALLY pisses me off is when they get all up in your face should you even look at them funny. Case in point. Last Saturday, St Stephen's Green shopping center. I'm sitting down, drawing my little comic strips and nightmarish dream people when I look up. Sitting at the same cafe and about two tables away is one of what I call "Over The Top Emos". Personally I think the stereotypical Emo clothing looks pretty good on some people and on this guy it did. However, he had overdone it with the makeup and had used so much gel in his hair I'm certain he could have shattered rocks.
Anyway, I look up, comment on his jacket (which I thought looked particularly neat) and then have my head back down to do more drawing. Thirty seconds later this guy comes over.
"Is there something wrong with the way I look?"
I reply honestly: "Nope. In fact I quite like your clothes, though you could use less gel in your hair." When I'm particularly sleep-deprived (and at this point I had gone about 20 hours since I last slept), I tend to say too much, รก la the gel comment. I also think he heard a non-existenet hint of sarcasm.
"Well, next time I'll try and impress you huh?"
Eager to avoid a scene, I apologise, but already my head is starting to hurt. Not a good sign. Headaches for me usually lead up to bouts of unneeded aggression culminating in me screaming at a person for pretty much no reason.
"I am sorry. I genuinely mean what I say and I meant no offense."
He actually accepted this which I wasn't expecting. Here's where things get odd. He then sat down.
"Oh, no worries. I'm just pretty miserable and a bit snappy."
Oh great. Now I have to entertain him. I take a drink of Coke to try and calm my head. Anyway, long story short we got into a discussion about Goths, Emos and Industrialists/Rivetheads. I explain the differences, which he found entertaining for some odd reason. He asked me which I identified with. I said none. He asked what I was drawing, I replied that it was personal. Then I make the mistake of scratching my two month old acid burn scar. He sees it.
"Hmm. Hurt yourself did you?"
"Not for any particular reason, I was just curious what a Sulfuric Acid burn felt like." (True. I'm odd).
He then recommends I should write some poetry. Oh God. Here it is. He's trying to make me into him. I politely decline, and getting rather aggravated and now having a raging static sound in my ears as well as the headache go on the offensive. I ask him why he's Emo, and why he so willingly defines himself as such.
"Well, you know. I wanted to fit in."
Bam.
"So you don't enjoy dressing as you do? Do you act stereotypically Emo?"
"Well, duh. I don't really enjoy it, but everyone's doing it. And if by 'stereotypically Emo' you mean depressed and cut myself, yeah I do."
"Why? I mean, if you enjoyed doing it then by all means. But if it's just a fashion thing and not your actual preffered lifestyle, and you dislike it, why do you identify as one?"
He's speechless. I think I actually managed to make him think. While he's trying to think up a response, I pack up. I have to go meet my cousin. I look at him and give him some advice.
"Just be you. Nothing pisses me off more than people being part of a group that they don't like being part of. Look at me. I've been called Goth, because I like black clothing. But It's just the clothing, the lifestyle doesn't appeal to me, nor the makeup or any other steretypical part of it."
Finally the static is gone and my head is calming down. He looks up and says one more thing.
"I would have called you Goth up until about five minutes ago. But your clothing's more industrialist and you certainly don't act like any Goth I've ever known."
I smile and walk away. I think I've gotten through to him. And if not, well at least now he knows the difference between Goth, Emo and Rivethead.
He's right too. I wear combats, which are (stereotypically) associated with Industrialists. Anyway, maybe some day when I'm not so tired and I'm bored I'll make a post outlining the diffrences between the three for you guys.
But what REALLY pisses me off is when they get all up in your face should you even look at them funny. Case in point. Last Saturday, St Stephen's Green shopping center. I'm sitting down, drawing my little comic strips and nightmarish dream people when I look up. Sitting at the same cafe and about two tables away is one of what I call "Over The Top Emos". Personally I think the stereotypical Emo clothing looks pretty good on some people and on this guy it did. However, he had overdone it with the makeup and had used so much gel in his hair I'm certain he could have shattered rocks.
Anyway, I look up, comment on his jacket (which I thought looked particularly neat) and then have my head back down to do more drawing. Thirty seconds later this guy comes over.
"Is there something wrong with the way I look?"
I reply honestly: "Nope. In fact I quite like your clothes, though you could use less gel in your hair." When I'm particularly sleep-deprived (and at this point I had gone about 20 hours since I last slept), I tend to say too much, รก la the gel comment. I also think he heard a non-existenet hint of sarcasm.
"Well, next time I'll try and impress you huh?"
Eager to avoid a scene, I apologise, but already my head is starting to hurt. Not a good sign. Headaches for me usually lead up to bouts of unneeded aggression culminating in me screaming at a person for pretty much no reason.
"I am sorry. I genuinely mean what I say and I meant no offense."
He actually accepted this which I wasn't expecting. Here's where things get odd. He then sat down.
"Oh, no worries. I'm just pretty miserable and a bit snappy."
Oh great. Now I have to entertain him. I take a drink of Coke to try and calm my head. Anyway, long story short we got into a discussion about Goths, Emos and Industrialists/Rivetheads. I explain the differences, which he found entertaining for some odd reason. He asked me which I identified with. I said none. He asked what I was drawing, I replied that it was personal. Then I make the mistake of scratching my two month old acid burn scar. He sees it.
"Hmm. Hurt yourself did you?"
"Not for any particular reason, I was just curious what a Sulfuric Acid burn felt like." (True. I'm odd).
He then recommends I should write some poetry. Oh God. Here it is. He's trying to make me into him. I politely decline, and getting rather aggravated and now having a raging static sound in my ears as well as the headache go on the offensive. I ask him why he's Emo, and why he so willingly defines himself as such.
"Well, you know. I wanted to fit in."
Bam.
"So you don't enjoy dressing as you do? Do you act stereotypically Emo?"
"Well, duh. I don't really enjoy it, but everyone's doing it. And if by 'stereotypically Emo' you mean depressed and cut myself, yeah I do."
"Why? I mean, if you enjoyed doing it then by all means. But if it's just a fashion thing and not your actual preffered lifestyle, and you dislike it, why do you identify as one?"
He's speechless. I think I actually managed to make him think. While he's trying to think up a response, I pack up. I have to go meet my cousin. I look at him and give him some advice.
"Just be you. Nothing pisses me off more than people being part of a group that they don't like being part of. Look at me. I've been called Goth, because I like black clothing. But It's just the clothing, the lifestyle doesn't appeal to me, nor the makeup or any other steretypical part of it."
Finally the static is gone and my head is calming down. He looks up and says one more thing.
"I would have called you Goth up until about five minutes ago. But your clothing's more industrialist and you certainly don't act like any Goth I've ever known."
I smile and walk away. I think I've gotten through to him. And if not, well at least now he knows the difference between Goth, Emo and Rivethead.
He's right too. I wear combats, which are (stereotypically) associated with Industrialists. Anyway, maybe some day when I'm not so tired and I'm bored I'll make a post outlining the diffrences between the three for you guys.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Anonymous vs. Scientology
I'm sure many of you, if you have gone around the internet enough, already know about the internet group 'Anonymous' and their war against Scientology. I thought maybe it would be time to voice my opinion.
In short. I support Anonymous. I have not yet attended any demonstrations here in Ireland, such crowded happenings would be nothing short of unbearable. However, I've been following the protests around the world and have seen what Anonymous can do. I'm nothing short of impressed. I've never like Scientology, but I never knew just how evil they really can be (the higher ups anyway). A world which allows a Cult (yep, I said it) that destroys families, lives and allows people who need psychiatric help to get worse and worse, is not a world I want to understand.
I hear people saying Anonymous is wrong, and that they're terrorists. What the fuck! Sure, in the past they've been rather cruel (for the Lulz), but right now I can see nothing they've done wrong. I mean, if it's okay for Scientologists to follow their "Fair Game" policy, why is not okay for Anonymous to use it. Oh wait, hang on. They fucking HAVEN'T!
They've protested, which in the free world is allowed. Get fucking used to it Scientology.
I have every intention of forcing myself to the next protest. All I can say now is:
Go Anonymous, Go.
Some sites you should check out:
Xenu.net
Encyclopaedia Dramatica : Project Chanology
Why are they Dead?
In short. I support Anonymous. I have not yet attended any demonstrations here in Ireland, such crowded happenings would be nothing short of unbearable. However, I've been following the protests around the world and have seen what Anonymous can do. I'm nothing short of impressed. I've never like Scientology, but I never knew just how evil they really can be (the higher ups anyway). A world which allows a Cult (yep, I said it) that destroys families, lives and allows people who need psychiatric help to get worse and worse, is not a world I want to understand.
I hear people saying Anonymous is wrong, and that they're terrorists. What the fuck! Sure, in the past they've been rather cruel (for the Lulz), but right now I can see nothing they've done wrong. I mean, if it's okay for Scientologists to follow their "Fair Game" policy, why is not okay for Anonymous to use it. Oh wait, hang on. They fucking HAVEN'T!
They've protested, which in the free world is allowed. Get fucking used to it Scientology.
I have every intention of forcing myself to the next protest. All I can say now is:
Go Anonymous, Go.
Some sites you should check out:
Xenu.net
Encyclopaedia Dramatica : Project Chanology
Why are they Dead?
Saturday, March 15, 2008
A post at 1 AM
Just as the title says. One o'clock in the morning here and I've not slept in about 24 hours. I'm not feeling particularly tired though, so it's no major problem. Having this time to myslef has helped me realise a few things.
I draw and draw and draw trying to keep the Noise away, but it never lasts long. Still, I'm persistent and I keep trying.
Shit. I am tired... But I don't want to sleep. Sleep is bad. Fuck. I think I'll go paint something or smash some trivial item. So long for now.
- I have serious sleep issues.
- Sleep is a waste of time.
- I really suck at drawing.
I draw and draw and draw trying to keep the Noise away, but it never lasts long. Still, I'm persistent and I keep trying.
Shit. I am tired... But I don't want to sleep. Sleep is bad. Fuck. I think I'll go paint something or smash some trivial item. So long for now.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Sigh... (and a little rant about the US of A)
My God I'm bored. I'm sitting here trying to think of something to do or write, but there's just so much static in my head I can't focus on anything. I can't even think of anything to write, but I just feel like I need to.
I've spent the past two days in my house, feeling pretty damn crappy. Head feels swollen and no strength in my legs. All I can say is thank God for the caffeine in Coke and the power that is Neurofen. (Did I spell that right?)
A few things have been running through my head as of late. The current election in America has been weighing heavily on my mind. To be perfectly honest, I don't care whether it's Clinton or Obama who goes through for the Democrats, just as long as it is a Democrat who becomes president. I'd prefer Obama to be honest though. Although, in my opinion, I just don't see America electing either a black man or a woman as President. Don't get me wrong, I love Americans. Most of them anyway. I have two very good friends who are American (I say this at the risk of sounding like one of those closet homophobes who insists some of their best friends are gay), and I've been to New York and San Jose. They're both lovely places.
The problem comes with the over-religious and downright racists people in America. It is a great place in principal, but unfortunately you've got too many racist, sexist, xenophobic Christians over there for me to be too positive in my thinking. I'm not trying to offend any of you, I'm just stating my opinion. It's the truth. While in New York I made the grave mistake of letting someone know I was an Atheist. This completely random stranger then told me I was going to hell for being a terrorist and "fag-lover".
Talk about hypocritical. I'll save my ranting about Christianity and religion for another day. All I'm saying is I don't think a black man or a woman will be elected. I don't see it happening.
I'd love to be proven wrong.
I've spent the past two days in my house, feeling pretty damn crappy. Head feels swollen and no strength in my legs. All I can say is thank God for the caffeine in Coke and the power that is Neurofen. (Did I spell that right?)
A few things have been running through my head as of late. The current election in America has been weighing heavily on my mind. To be perfectly honest, I don't care whether it's Clinton or Obama who goes through for the Democrats, just as long as it is a Democrat who becomes president. I'd prefer Obama to be honest though. Although, in my opinion, I just don't see America electing either a black man or a woman as President. Don't get me wrong, I love Americans. Most of them anyway. I have two very good friends who are American (I say this at the risk of sounding like one of those closet homophobes who insists some of their best friends are gay), and I've been to New York and San Jose. They're both lovely places.
The problem comes with the over-religious and downright racists people in America. It is a great place in principal, but unfortunately you've got too many racist, sexist, xenophobic Christians over there for me to be too positive in my thinking. I'm not trying to offend any of you, I'm just stating my opinion. It's the truth. While in New York I made the grave mistake of letting someone know I was an Atheist. This completely random stranger then told me I was going to hell for being a terrorist and "fag-lover".
Talk about hypocritical. I'll save my ranting about Christianity and religion for another day. All I'm saying is I don't think a black man or a woman will be elected. I don't see it happening.
I'd love to be proven wrong.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
I hate sleep.
Well, not quite. That's perhaps a bit of an overstatement. I hated last night trying to sleep.
I've never been a good sleeper, rarely getting more than two or three hours straight before I wake up for some reason. But last night just set a whole new record. I think I must have gotten a total of about fifteen minutes sleep. Considering I was in bed from half eleven until nine o'clock the following morning, that's pretty awful. Even by my standards.
I don't know why I couldn't sleep. Usually all I need is some music, but last night I just had so much useless junk running through my head I couldn't relax. Stupid things like, did I have enough milk? Did I have any calls I'd missed and needed to return?
If anyone has any ideas on how to calm a drowsy, yet frantic mind when I'm trying to get some sleep, please let me know.
I've never been a good sleeper, rarely getting more than two or three hours straight before I wake up for some reason. But last night just set a whole new record. I think I must have gotten a total of about fifteen minutes sleep. Considering I was in bed from half eleven until nine o'clock the following morning, that's pretty awful. Even by my standards.
I don't know why I couldn't sleep. Usually all I need is some music, but last night I just had so much useless junk running through my head I couldn't relax. Stupid things like, did I have enough milk? Did I have any calls I'd missed and needed to return?
If anyone has any ideas on how to calm a drowsy, yet frantic mind when I'm trying to get some sleep, please let me know.
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